What you do for love!

Ok, so this weekend Clay, Lilliana and I have an 80's themed party for a good friend of ours. We have been driving all over town in search of some great 80's attire and visiting some store I never even knew existed. We have realized that there are some really great thrift store's not far from us and we have been searching the racks. Well, so far Clay has found a jacket, while I have located a big gray sweatshirt and some leggings. Of course, I wanted Lilliana to join in on the fun ( I already have found her a great tie-dye t-shirt) so today I went by the mall and purchased her some precious hot pink legging's from Baby Gap, along with more stuff that she did not need but I just couldn't pass up. Anyways, yesterday when we found her little tie-dye t-shirt there was also the cutest little rocking chair at one of the thrift stores. The lady said it was only $4.00 so we just had to get it. Of course it needs a good coat of paint and I plan to recover it but I think once it is done it will look great in Lilliana's room. Well, Clay is one of those types of people that once he gets his mind focused on something he can't stop thinking about it until he completes it. So, we went to Lowe's to get some paint stripper and other items that would be necessary to fix up her chair. When we arrived home, Clay was outside working on the chair when I heard him run inside and turn the bathtub on. Of course, I went running in there thinking he had gotten something in his eye's or something like that. Well, actually my handy husband had placed the paint stripper in a plastic solo cup. Well immediately it soaked through the cup and got on his jeans and foot. Well, I am happy to report that it didn't eat his skin off as I told him it probably would do. I went outside and read the warning label which said to use in a well ventilated area and to wear protective eye gear and gloves. I informed Clay of this information and this is how I found him about 10 minutes later.






Ok so these are MY kitchen goves and he is wearing sunglasses as his protective eye wear. I couldn't help but laugh as I snapped these pics through the kitchen window. :)

Wordless Wednesday

Prayer's for the Oswalt's

Ok blog family, I come to you again for prayer's for the precious Oswalt family. I recently asked for prayers for them as they lost their 4th son baby Andrew around Lindy's 6th month of pregnancy back in early March. Well, if that wasn't enough they have now suffered another devastating loss due to a fire in the house they were living in down in Oxford. It appears they have lost EVERYTHING! I am happy to report that everyone got out safely but I just can't imagine the heavy burdens they are carrying around at this time. The most amazing thing about this family is that they NEVER stop believing. To quote Lindy on her blog she said "but are determined more than ever to praise our Holy Father and give Him glory for His provision in our lives. We are so very thankful for our safety." They are truly praising Him in the storm's of life and are a true inspiration to how I would like to lead my life. I pray constantly that I can be at least half as faithful as they are, and to teach my children to love God the way they do. You can access their blog at www.caringbridge.org/ms/carter .

New Poll

Clay and I have had many discussion's about how to spell Lilliana's nickname. You can help us decide by voting on the right sidebar :)

Thanks,
Melody

What a Difference a year makes!

Lilliana ready for the walk!


it was a little crowded in the beginning so
Nana picked up Maggie, she had to keep an
eye on her sissy though :)


Daddy strolling Lilliana


Daddy and Aunt Christy


Heather and Jonathan


What a true statement that is! Today Clay and I participated in our local March of Dimes walk, and we were able to walk with a stroller and a BABY. I was so excited and I just couldn't help but think the miraculous gifts God has given me in the last year. I had gotten a little down about the walk this year because I was feeling that I did not live up to the standards I had set before myself considering how well we did raising money last year for the walk. I know that we have had a busy year and for most of 2007 I was on bedrest trying to keep out little bundle of joy inside of me but I felt that we owed it to Cooper. Well when we woke up this morning and I was creeping around the house trying to get myself ready before Lilliana awoke I couldn't help but smile. I have so much to be thankful for and I know Cooper is so happy for us and where we are today. What really matters is that we do the walk in his memory and that we participate each year. Last year I had a lot of opportunities at work to raise money and considering that I have not worked since early September I just didn't feel like I could ask them for help again this year. My co-workers have been through so much with me and have been just so supportive and caring through it all. We did end up raising almost $1,000.00 this year which is totally amazing to me. Thank you so much to those of you who contributed as this is an organization that means a lot to Clay and I. We ended up with a beautiful day here in Memphis and really enjoyed the time we spent outside. Most of my family was there to walk with us, along with Clay's mom and an amazing couple from my Sunday School and their little boy. Of course Maggie came along with us this year and I think she spent more time in Lilliana's stroller than she did! Around 9:30, which wasn't far into the walk, it was time for Lilliana's nap. Well, (probably due to the fact that she rarely naps somewhere other than my arms) she was fussing in her stroller. Anyways, as soon as I got her out and put her in my sling she fell fast asleep and slept for the next hour. She was such a good sport, especially considering we were about an hour late for her 2nd feeding.

Last night I went up to LeBonheur to see a precious family that I met through working in the PICU. They are from Aberdeen, MS and were up here for a procedure for their third son. I realized, while speaking with Amy, how much we have in common. You see, she too lost a baby due to a congenital heart defect. Baby Will passed away on July 30, 2005 and his life touched so many lives in the short time he was here. I took care of Will many times while he was in the PICU and his family really means a lot to me. After Cooper was diagnosed with TAPVR and passed shortly after Amy was so kind to me and we spoke on the phone multiple times, as she truly understands what it is like to go through something like this. I realized while talking to her that I am not completely crazy for the intense feelings of love and fear that I have for Lilliana. Her third son Drew was born just 5 day's after Lilliana and we both tend to parent in the same way's. It was just so refreshing to realize that after multiple years of rocking to sleep, never letting her boy's "cry it out", and catering to their every need, they turned out just fine. We both agreed that it is so easy to just give in after going through such trial's in life but all in all we just don't want to have regrets. We both realize the sanctity of life and that at any point in time our cherished possessions could be taken from us. Thanks Amy for such a great visit, and I look forward to staying in contact and watching the kids grow up together :)

Wordless Wednesday!

(thanks for the idea Becky!)

Bottle Battle

Lately Clay and I have been trying to introduce the bottle to Lilliana and so far things are not going so well. Last week she took 2 ounces from the bottle and then went to sleep and did not wake up until 7:00 am. I thought at that point that we had crossed a line and that she would begin to take it without a problem. Well, was I wrong. For the last couple nights Clay has tried to put her down with her bottle and all she does is scream. It is very stressful for all of us because on a normal basis we don't allow Lilliana to cry much so that makes it much harder. Each time after Clay trying I have gone into her room and nursed her and then she goes straight to bed. The reason we are working so hard on this is that I have to start back to work no later than May 8th which is slightly more than 2 weeks away. I am only going back PRN which consists of a minimum of 2 shifts per month and I plan to do the minimum. I plan to go back to night shift so that Lilliana will hopefully be asleep most of the time that I am gone. I would like to wait another few months to go back but when I filled out my leave paperwork I put the date of May 9th as my return date (as it was 4 month's from Lilliana due date) and that is the max amount of time I can take off without having to reapply for my job. Even though I am getting to the point that, that may be easier. Even though it is only 2 nights a month I am sooo not ready to go back. I just can't imagine leaving Lilliana for that long. I know, I know she should be asleep the whole time I am gone but I just worry that she will wake up in the middle of the night and either Clay won't hear her or that she will cry because I am not there. There have been many times that she only want's me and does not want anything to with Clay. I guess all I can do is pray that the night I am gone she will sleep like she never has before :)

Cereal anyone?

Today we also tried cereal for the first time and so far Lilliana is not sure what to do with it. I figure we will try again in a week or so. Dr. Kloek said today that the AAP is continually changing the recommendation for when to start cereal so as of right know they are saying 6 months, but he gave us the go ahead. We will just make sure that nursing continues to be the priority and just make cereal an additive.

4 month STATS

Well today Lilliana went to the doctor for her 4 month check-up. I cannot believe she is already 4 month's old. The time has truly flown by. The last month has been such a fun one and she is getting such a wonderful personality! She started laughing at Clay and I and she just thinks that we are so funny. I think her laughter is the most wonderful sound in the whole world. It just melts my heart :) She is really starting to grasp at things and reach for her toys and she may be starting to teeth. I don't feel anything when I rub her gums but she is doing a lot of slobbering and continually keeping her hands in her mouth. I guess time will tell. Clay was unable to attend her doctor's appointment this morning so I had to take Lilliana by myself which was not much fun. It is still so hard for me to see her get her shots. She gets so upset and cries so hard that it takes her breath away. It is just heartbreaking to watch. Today when we left she was still fussing a bit until we got unto her car seat and in the car. She then quickly fell asleep and took a good nap the whole way home! She is such a Priss and will let you know it. I just love her so much and feel like my love for her grows more each new day I have with her. I just can't wait to see what this future holds for our little family!



Lilliana's STATS weight: 12 lbs 10 oz.

height: 23 1/2 inches

head circumference: 40 1/2 cm



which is all in the 25-50 %. I was so happy and pleased with her weight gain. She does not have the greatest genes to be a very big girl so I am happy as long as she is atleast above the 25%!

Memphis Zoo

Clay has had the privilege of being off the last 2 day's and the weather here in Memphis has been absolutely gorgeous, so we decided to take advantage of it and take a trip to the Zoo. Clay went online and bought us a zoo pass which will last us all year, and we have already put it to good use. On Monday we were able to visit Cat Country, the amphibian's, the bird house and take a ride on the train that goes around the petting zoo area. It was so much fun and I really think Lilliana enjoyed herself. It was just so nice to get out as a family of three and stroll around with our miracle baby.

We then went back to the Zoo on Tuesday and were able to see the monkeys, hippos, giraffes, polar bears, panda bears, and many other animals. I haven't been to the Memphis Zoo in so long and I forgot how big it was. It definately is worth the $79.00 it costs for a family pass. I think it cost's $13.00 a person for adult's so after just a few visit's the pass has already paid for itself! I also enjoy the fact that you can bring a picnic lunch with you, so after purchasing the pass you really don't have to spend any money while you are there. Definately a great investment for us and something we will most likely do for years to come.

Zoo

More Zoo

"My Heart"

After checking in on my friend Emily's blog I realized that I had some of the same feelings towards Lilliana that she does towards her daughter. The amount of love that I for her is such a crazy, scary type of love. Before she was in my life, I didn't worry about all the crazy, and I mean crazy things that I worry about now. For example I am talking about the fact that every time it storms, I worry that she is unsafe in her room and would like to put her in our room but Clay will not let me :). Also, while in the parking garage at the mall the other day there was a line of cars and this crazy lady in front of me got out of her car and was screaming at the car's in front of her to move and I could just picture her pulling out a gun and shooting everyone. Lilliana was in the car with me so I quickly made a u-turn and headed back to the house. I also have had crazy thoughts of someone coming into my house and stealing her while I am sleeping. I refuse to turn the monitor down, even though every noise she makes wakes me up, I feel more comfortable sleeping like that. Now some people may think that I have gone completely mad and should see someone for my craziness but you have to remember how much we have longed for her and how hard I tried to get her here healthy and as close to full term as possible. Now don't get me wrong it was worth EVERYTHING! I would do it over again 10-fold and God willing would actually like to have at least one more if it is His will.



Anyways, this scary, crazy love that I am talking about is a feeling I have never felt before. Someone once said that "Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." That is SO true. I feel like if something was to happen to Lilliana that I would absolutely die. How I ever got through the loss of Cooper is beyond me and was only through divine intervention. I still feel like there is a huge hole in my heart every time I think about him and he will never be replaced, but the thought of ever going through something like that again is just something I pray about daily.



When I was pregnant with Lilliana, I really tried to distant myself from the pregnancy as much as possible. This was done completely out of fear. When I was pregnant with Cooper life was blissful and I enjoyed every moment of it. Things were completely different the second time around. I refused to get connected with her until she was born. I would not allow anyone to take any pictures of me pregnant and I did not want any baby shower's thrown. I guess you can say that I was very superstitious and worried that if I did anything the same as I did the first time then something would go wrong. After she was born I remember holding her for the first time and it was so surreal. It was a moment that I will never forget. I still enjoy looking into those big blue eyes and just telling her how much I love her.

When I was pregnant with Lilliana I was in agreement that babies should not always be picked up when they cried and I felt that as "Babywise" says, the book I was reading, I would let her "cry it out at night." I also think that I knew deep down that I would be a complete pushover and needless to say, I think that is what you can call me :) This is something that I am just unable to do and I am happy to say that Clay is in agreement with me. Yes, I realize that she is completely rotten, I also realize that I don't get ANYTHING done sometimes during the day because 9 times out of 10 we don't nap AT ALL in our bed during the day. Yes, I hold her for most of her naps. I understand that is crazy to some but I just want her to get a good nap and when I lay her down in her bed she seems to wake up and does not get a full nap in, if one at all. Now when it comes to nighttime I usually feed her and then put her to bed. Sometimes she will stay asleep for quite a few hours and other times it will take 3 or 4 attempts to get her to sleep without her having a complete meltdown. I realize that she will not do this forever, I also realize that she won't be small forever. I am just trying to enjoy every single moment I have with her and have no regrets whatsoever! I guess it is just this crazy, scary love thing that is keeping me going and preventing me from going literally crazy considering the sleep deprivation :) She is the love of my life and I can't imagine a single day without her!

March for Babies

On April 26, Clay and I will be participating in the March for Babies (originally the March of Dimes) walk in memory of Cooper Walker and in honor of Lilliana. This is an organization that is near and dear to our hearts and this will be our second year to participate. Last year we raised approximately $5,000.00 which was truly amazing and we would like to try and meet or exceed that goal this year. We would love those of you who live in the Memphis area to walk with us. The walk will begin at 9:00 am at Shelby Farms. If you are interested in supporting our team you can donate online at www.marchforbabies.org/coopersbattle or you can e-mail me at mrsburchett@yahoo.com and I will give you our home address where a check can be mailed for me to turn in before the race. Thank you in advance for your support, and remember "great things DO come in small packages!"

Love,
Mommy to Cooper Walker and Lilliana Elise

More Easter Pics

Easter Pics

Lilliana dancing with daddy



sister Maggie with her Easter dress



Nana and Lilliana



Lilliana with Nana and Aunt Christy



family pic

Easter Sunday!

Lilliana's easter basket


she was soooo excited!



Mommy and Lilliana



Lilliana with her bunny from Nana



Well, today we celebrated the resurrection of our Lord and the gift of life that He gave us through His only son. It was a beautiful day here in Memphis and we definitely enjoyed the time we had to spend with family. The service at church today was wonderful and just made me realize how lucky I am. This time last year would have been one of Cooper's first time's to attend church which made things very difficult last year. What a difference a year makes! While we still miss our precious Cooper we are truly happy again. I look forward to each new day and try and treasure each moment I have with Lilliana. She is still not going to the nursery so I enjoyed holding her during the church service and just staring into her eye's and thanking God for the miracle of her life. These are the moment's I have dreamed about for so long. I used to look at all the mom's in the service that were holding their precious newborn's and now I am able to do so myself. It is such a blessing to have her here with us.


After church we headed to Owen Brennan's for brunch with my mom and sister. The food was great and we all ate way too much! Then we headed back to the house where we all took a nap together and then headed out to Clay's parent's to visit and watch the Tiger's barely pull out a win against Mississippi State. I do not like games that are this close as they make me nervous the whole time but a win is a win, so we will take it.

Prayers!

While working at LeBonheur there have been a few families that have made an impact on my life but the one that stands out most in my mind is the Oswalt family. They are a precious, Godly family that are a true inspiration to me. Lindy was almost 6 months pregnant and on March 13 she found out through ultrasound that the son she was carrying had passed. She then had to proceed to labor and delivery to indure the induction process to deliver their precious Baby Andrew. When I heard of this news my heart just broke for this sweet family. It brought back a flood of emotion's and I just immediately began to pray for them. Please join me in lifting this family up to our Heavenly Father and asking Him to wrap them in His arms. They need prayers now like never before and I know there are some wonderful prayer warriors that still check this blog. You can visit the Oswalt blog at http://www.theoswalts.blogspot.com/ .

Guess what Lilliana can do?