What Exactly Happened

Well it has been two weeks now since our sweet Cooper Walker was born. I have had some people ask me what all happened since it seemed to happen so fast so here goes.On Thursday October 26, I started having contractions that I could feel for the first time. They worried me a little bit and so I informed my nurse. The entire time I was in the hospital I was having some contractions but none of them hurt, the only reason I knew I was having them was because the belt would tighten that was around my stomach. Well due to this they increased the frequency and the dosage of my terbutaline on Thursday around 4:00. That seemed to work for the time being. Clay was going to go to his parent’s house to spend the night and get some much needed rest and spend time with our puppy Maggie and my mom was coming to spend the night with me. Mom arrived just before 8:00 and it was about that time that my contractions started up again. I told Clay that I was worried, as I did every time the contractions would start back; I just knew that the time would come when they would be at the end of their rope and nothing would work. I told him to go ahead and go to his parents but just to make sure that he had his phone with him. Mom had brought me some dinner, so I ate that and we watched some TV. At around 10:00 I was having stronger contractions and so I called my nurse again. The whole time I was in the hospital I was very anxious and I told my nurse maybe I just needed to get some rest and that things would calm down on their own. She insisted that I take something to help me sleep and she agreed that it may help. I told her that I would take it around 11:00. When she came in to bring me my medicine she also had been speaking with the perinatologist and he wanted her to give me some terbutaline in my arm to see if that would help the contractions. She gave me the Terbutaline and some Ambien to help me sleep and away to lala land I went. About midnight I awoke to take another medicine and I noticed that I had started to bleed some. Mom called Clay to give him a heads up but I still insisted that he not come rushing up there. It was around 2:00 am that I woke up in horrible pain. I knew that this had to be real labor because I had never felt anything like this before. I was unable to sleep through the contractions and they just continued to get worse. We called my nurse and after speaking to the perinatologist again they decided to put me back on MagSulfate. I told them to make sure that my bucket was close because it was going to make me nauseous. They were worried about me getting sick and putting pressure on my cervix but I didn't know what else to do. It was probably 2:30 am before the MagSulfate was started and within 15 minutes the pain was pretty much intolerable. I know I was driving my nurse crazy but I kept thinking if this is labor then I need an epidural! It wasn't long before my water broke. I had been telling mom for the last 2 hours that I don't know how these contractions wouldn't be changing my cervix. All along they told me they felt fine with me having contractions as long as they didn't hurt because they probably weren't causing cervical changes. Well mom called Clay back and told him he better get up there immediately that Cooper was on his way. Luckily my nurse was in there when my water broke and the first words out of my mouth was "is the fluid stained?" she told me it was a little bit but it didn't look like it should cause a problem. All I have to say is ignorance is blissful and my time as a nurse in the PICU and made me a worry wart! Who cares if my fluid is slightly stained my baby was about to be born at 25 weeks 2 days! Anyways, they phoned my doctor who arrived along with my husband about 15 minutes before Cooper made his arrival. They did an ultrasound to see if he was head down and they thought he was breech so they were preparing me for a c-section. They had anesthesia come in to speak with me and all I could think about was that they were going to have to emergently put me out but I knew Cooper wasn't going to wait for me to get an epidural and that they would intubate me and I was going to aspirate (because I had been eating all day long) and end up in the ICU. Again, I know way too much about what can go wrong. Well the anesthesiologist never made it back into my room. When my doctor arrived she checked me and said that I was complete and that he was head down. Cooper Walker Burchett arrived at 3:38 am all natural, and Clay was able to make it thank goodness.

Of course the neonatologist was in the room when he was born and they quickly whisked him away and intubated him. Then they took him to the NICU to try and stabilize him. After about 15 minutes that neonatologist came into the room to update us and told us that Cooper was already on high frequency ventilation which is a ventilator that can give them lot’s more breath’s a minute than a conventional ventilator and it helps keep their lungs open better. She told me that Clay and I could go in and see him within the hour. They got me up to postpartum and Clay and I immediately went down to see Cooper. He was so small and did not look very good to me. The nurse came over and updated us and I asked her if babies his size ever did well and she said sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. I knew that all we could do was pray.

Well Clay and I went back up to our room and got some much needed rest. We called to check on Cooper lots and went down to see him as much as we could. On Friday night Cooper had a great night. They were able to get his oxygen down to 60% my morning and I felt that things were starting to look up. He seemed like such a little fighter every time we went down there. They kept having to re swaddle him because he was kicking his legs and moving his arms so much, (just like he did in my belly). We went to see him Saturday morning and they had gone up a little bit on his oxygen during shift change and they told me that he had a positive blood culture but that they were going to repeat it later that day. On Saturday around 5:30 I called to check on him and they told me that he had been anywhere from 60% to 100 % on his oxygen and that there was a cardiologist there to look at him to make sure he didn’t have a PDA. This is a very common problem in preemies where their ductus does not close in their heart and surgery would be necessary but it is a minor problem compared to other defects. I got a bad feeling about this and told Clay when I got off the phone. I started to cry and Clay again reassured me that Cooper is a fighter and he would be ok. Around 6:30 Clay left to get us something to eat and I called him about 25 minutes later and he had just pulled back into the parking lot and said he was coming right up. Within a few minutes there was a knock on the door and I just assumed it was Clay and told him to come in. Unfortunately it was one of the cardiologists that I work with everyday at work and I cheerfully said “Hey were you the one doing his ECHO?” He told me yes and I asked if Cooper had a PDA. He looked at me funny and I said “its worse isn’t it?” I told him that I had completed a Fetal ECHO just because I was paranoid about what could go wrong and I told him my husband should be right in. Clay came in within a few seconds and I told him that something was wrong and I started to cry again. Dr. Waller (the cardiologist) began to explain to us that Cooper had Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return (TAPVR). This is where all 4 of his pulmonary veins do not connect correctly to his heart but his were connected below his diaphragm into his portal vein, or the vein into his liver. I just completely freaked out because I knew how bad this was and I just knew there would be nothing they could do. After he explained everything to Clay and I, he consulted Dr. Gilbert at LeBonheur and he confirmed our fears that sweet Cooper was just too small. They wouldn’t even be able to get the cannulas into his chest to place him on the heart and lung bypass machine to start the surgery. Dr. Waller took the video of the ECHO to a second cardiologist’s house that night to get a 2nd opinion. Clay and I went down to the visitation time from 8:00 – 10:00 and spoke with Dr. Joyner (the Neonatologist) while we were down there. She told us that we did not have to make a decision right then that they would continue to support Cooper but we were given approximately 24-48 hours by the cardiologist’s. This is due to the nature of his disorder. Had he been a term baby, he would have been emergently transferred to LeBonheur that night and surgery would have been performed.

Clay and I didn’t sleep much on Saturday and we called my mom and some friend’s to let them know what was going on. On Sunday we woke up and went to visitation from 10:00 – 11:00. We stayed the whole time and I could already tell a difference in him. His coloring was not as good and his oxygen saturations were lower. After speaking with the neonatologist we decided that we would withdraw support on Monday. We wanted time to spend with Cooper and we had a lot of family to notify. They agreed and we left since the visiting hour was over. We were planning on coming back from 1:00 – 2:00 and so Clay decided that he would run out and get his hair cut in the mean time. My mom was up there with me and at 12:30 Dr. Joyner called and said that Cooper was not doing well, that his heart rate was dropping and that she wanted me to be able to hold him. I completely freaked out and went running out of the room and asked mom to get Clay there. I got down to the unit and they had already taken his oxygen probe off of his foot because it was reading so low. His heart rate was in the 70’s and all I could think about was “He can’t die when Clay isn’t here. Lord, please let Clay make it.” Clay did make it within less than 15 minutes and we were able to hold our angel for approximately 5 hours before he went home to Jesus. We were and continue to be completely devastated but we know that he is in a better place. The nurses in the NICU were amazing. They bathed him and I picked out a sweet gown for him to wear and they put him in it and I got to hold him some more. It was so hard to leave the hospital especially without a baby and with the idea that I would never bring him home. In the past 2 weeks we realize that God did spare us. He didn’t allow Cooper to suffer in the NICU for months and he never had to go through open heart surgery. We still miss him incredibly and I still cry myself to sleep at night. I keep telling Clay that I feel like this is all a horrible nightmare that I am still waiting to wake up from.

Well, anyways I know this was lengthy but I knew some people were wondering exactly what happened so I thought I would just let you know. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Clay and Melody Burchett