For me, Mother's Day has run the gamut of emotions over the last few years. In 2006, we had just the slightest forethought about starting our family and if I recall, Clay had just returned a few month's prior from a work trip that had him away for 4 month's. Then, in 2007, my arms were empty, my heart remained shattered and I remember, to date, that being the hardest Mother's Day of all. Actually, we didn't even stay in town that year but in turn took a much needed vacation to Florida and then up to New Orleans for a little time away from all the hustle and bustle of life. I think this is the only time we have ever been away from our Mom's on Mother's Day but it was just what I needed at that time in my life just 7 short month's after losing Cooper. Of course, not knowing it at the time, I was just a wee bit pregnant with Lilliana and had no idea what God had in store for our little family. In 2008, I sat in the church service with tears streaming down my face but for a new reason all together. I was holding my precious miracle child, the one who hadn't graced the walls of the church nursery yet, and just thinking about how good God had been to us. This was also the day we dedicated Lilliana to the Lord and had all our family there with us to celebrate and walk with us. Then in 2009, with my little 17 month old finally in nursery, I enjoyed a peaceful, uninterrupted service that really spoke to me on what the roll of a Mother is. There are times when I get frustrated and think I am just not sure I am cut out for this job, but it's those times when by asking Him to guide me and assist in leading her to where she should be as a child of His that I feel such a sense of reassurance. Well, here we are 2010. It has been quite the year with Clay's job loss and the continued search for something permanent plus the addition of school and the loans that come with that. All that said, I couldn't be more happy. I love my little family and all that God has in store for me in the coming months. You see, this year, as I am taking my little miracle to Sunday School and joining other's in church service, I am also baking one and praying for another little miracle that is due to arrive in late October! Yes, we are expecting again. We are extremely excited and so far things have been going well. My biggest prayer is that we can make it until at least the 1st of October which would be 1 week longer than I went with Lilliana.
My doctor has been just fabulous as usual and has such confidence that we can meet or exceed my lofty goal. I know that 37 weeks isn't a magic number itself but it is the goal I had with Lilliana and I would really like to be pregnant that long for once. :) Please just pray with us for a healthy baby and that we can ward off as many complications as possible this time around. Obviously, with me being the only one working at this point, it's really important that I can go to work so I would love prayers on that end too. I have a lot of posts that I have been writing and not publishing and I will work on getting those up soon.
I know this holiday is difficult for many woman, for different reasons and I have been saying a little prayer for you all this week. I know that longing feeling to want to be a Mother and I am so grateful to the One who chose me to raise my precious kids. Happy Mother's Day to all.
Psalm 139:13-18 - “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to [a] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.”
