Well this past weekend has definately been a weekend full of memories. This time last year Cooper was born on October 27th and then passed on October 29th. On the 30th we were at the funeral home making arrangements for the son we so longed to hold, and the 31st was the day we laid him to rest. Somehow though, we have been filled with a peace that can only come from our most gracious Heavenly Father. I had some friends ask me whether I thought Coop's birthday or angelversary would be harder and I told them about this peace we had been given. Not only was Cooper born premature, but with his heart condition there are so many more obstacles we would be facing. Had he been born full-term, we most likely would be facing a 2nd open heart surgery around this time and we would be somewhere else other than Memphis considering I would have liked to have him repaired at CHOP or University of Michigan. I would possibly be up there on my own as someone would have to continue working and there would just have been a lot of decisions to make. Now don't get me wrong, if I could do it all over again and still have Cooper here with me I would do whatever it would take. I would give my life for him just to hold him one more time. I would not mind having an imperfect baby that I spent all of my time with in and out of hospitals but I just feel that this was the plan that God had set out for us.
This past Sunday we had flowers on the alter of our church in memory of Cooper and they were just beautiful. We also went out there to his gravesite on his birthday and took him a pumpkin that had been painted with a University of Memphis Tiger on it. His daddy was very proud to have found such a pumpkin and knew Coop needed it :) Clay was able to stay in-town since last Wednesday so that was really helpful. Thank you to those of you who continue to read our blog and we do continue to ask for prayers and with time things do get easier but there will forever be a hugh hole in Clay and I's heart where Cooper's memory will always be.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6
3 comments:
Hey Melody! I was just checking the blog and am glad to see you are posting. You and Clay have been in my thoughts and prayers. Congrats on finding a house. Miss you!
Michelle Eubanks
I can't speak to losing a child - but I CAN speak to losing parents. I just lost my Dad and the hole in my heart is enormous. And,it made me think about when my sister died 6 years ago - it's impossible to imagine what my Dad went through and now, after losing him, I can only imagine the pain that he felt. The hole in your heart never goes away - but over time, the only thing that we can pray for is that the periods of sadness get farther apart. Cooper will always be a part of who you are and his memory will always be with you.
Congratulations on your house! Josh & I just closed on our first home.
I know the first anniversary can be tough... it sounds like you coped really well.
We will be coming to Memphis over Thanksgiving, so if you're in town let me know & we can get together!
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